Amy L. Wink, Ph.D.

amywink February 16th, 2010

Actually, it was our first drive since the last weekend of November, 2009! The weather has been horrendous and rain, rain, rain has kept the fields muddy muddy muddy. We had a break this weekend. Saturday was nice and Sunday morning I decided that we had to drive, even if it was just down the caliche road. We had a window of good weather before the cold front was supposed to move in late Sunday afternoon so Lisa and I got busy and got to driving.

It was great to be back “behind the reins” and both horses were complete champs. Like we hadn’t missed a day of our regular driving schedule. Will was a little speedy in his trot but he responded well to my hands and never got too heady for his own good. He jumped a bit when the hens cackled as we drove by but again, came right back to me. It was another milestone, our first drive after a long lay off of 2 and a half months. I expected more fireworks and rodeo but we just had a nice calm drive and I think both of us really enjoyed it.

Here he is sporting his Christmas buckle-nose halter, a gift from his herd.

The buckle-nose worked great for harnessing and I really think it looks quite fashionable as well. I’m calling it his “dress halter”. He has gained a little weight in his time off and we had to let out his harness a tad in the false martingale and the girth but I’m sure we’ll work it off as we get back to business. He had plenty of energy and wasn’t breathing hard when we finished and he even looked pleased about the day.

It was also a very big day for Cookie who had her first Carriage Dog lesson. She’s quite the charmer and seems to enjoy the attention.

About 3:30 we noticed the skies darkening in the northwest as the front approached, the clouds rolled in quick and the front arrived with fierce winds that excited the horses. They dashed about their pasture wildly and Will seems to be thinking “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee”

By the time I got to the gate, the blue skies were gone and clouds were racing in on the cold air:

But all that mattered to me was the wonderful drive we’d finally squeezed in. I hope we can get back to our regular driving schedule as we approach the spring.

• nature , Carriage Driving , Morgan horses , cart building , carriage dogs
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amywink January 7th, 2010

This past weekend was very hectic, with a family health emergency that resolved positively on Tuesday, and today we expect Arctic air that will drop our temperatures to the teens and twenties overnight, and leave us in the 40’s during the day– temperatures 20 degrees below normal.

This, of course, means no driving but I am still considering my goals for 2010. In December, I returned to Haven Hill for a lesson and it was wonderful to return and see all the activity continuing even in soggy conditions. After visiting with Marlene and Tom, Jerry and I went out for as much of a drive as we could in the slurry caused by recent rains. I hadn’t had a lesson in a few months, (since August, I think) so it was wonderful to get back and see how I’d improved after practicing more consistently this fall with Will. Jerry and I chatted about my progress and past and future goals for driving, which we had not really discussed in much detail before.

Since then, I’ve been considering what goals I achieved and what lies ahead. I consider our Anniversary Drive the complete achievement of my past goals for driving: we were able to enjoy fully driving at Agarita; Will was responsive and willing; I was confident and relaxed. The joy of that day remains with me still and I often look at that photograph and feel the warm core of strength and calm happiness I felt that day.

As important as that glorious day was, our first drive at Agarita was probably even more important because I was able to manage Will’s fear, work through his introduction to the new place, using my skills as a driver to work through his anxiety while never feeling the fear myself. I had worked long and hard to overcome my own fear, to calm that internal electrical jolt that I often felt when I started working with horses. That fear did not originate with horses but certainly materialized most visibly when I was with them–as if I was plugged directly into their own startle reflex. That fear tangled with the Ridiculously Rigorous Perfectionist who was unveiled during my lessons, and made for a . . . .well, a challenging learning experience. Jerry once said ‘Confidence, confidence, confidence” was the necessity for driving and working with horses. Tom says there’s no “I think” in driving (and interestingly, this is exactly what I tell my students about writing “I think”). Fear and Perfectionism make confidence impossible.

When I stopped feeling that electrical jolt, when my heart stayed in the right place and didn’t rise to my throat, when my body did not tighten, but remained relaxed, when my voice did not rise, but deepened to calm my horse (and when he listened and stopped), that was a momentous occasion. That was the beginning of our new work together, the moment when we became a team. That was the moment I achieved what was most necessary goal.

~~~~~

I’ve been watching This Emotional Life this week on PBS. Extremely fascinating stuff about our brains. Also The Human Spark started last night and I was amazed by the wonderful cave carvings and cave paintings of horses shown early in the first episode.

• creativity , creative practice , Carriage Driving
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amywink December 31st, 2009

My favorite holiday of the year is New Year’s, and the week leading up the the new. I try to take a positive look on what I accomplished during the last year and think about what I hope to move toward accomplishing in the next year. I don’t make resolutions, but rather think about goals and aspirations, writing down things I’d like to consider for the new year. This year, I am also try to take a long look back, especially since this past year was a “5 year” mark on several things I’d aspired to do.

The course to accomplishing many of those goals was a complete surprise. I never imagined I’d be able to spend my summer working at Haven Hill, learning as much as I could about driving and horses, and in tandem, learning as much about myself in the process. But that experience (and all the amazing people I’ve met through this new hobby) is what made driving Will at Agarita on our 5th anniversary entirely possible. And with that experience, I now have what I hope to be the makings of an interesting book–something that was not on the horizon 5 years ago!–which I plan to begin writing in 2010.

The book that was on the horizon then is now in print as Tandem Lives: The Frontier Texas Diaries of Henrietta Baker Embree and Tennessee Keys Embree, 1856-1884.. The publication in April 2009 was a long awaited event and I am looking forward to the presentation and book signing in March 2010. That project was also full of Providential surprises, including the eventual discovery of the original diaries. . . . or, I should say, the eventual discovery of *me* by the owner of the original diaries!

These accomplishments represent a interesting convergence: my own recovery of a long-desired and long-denied relationship with horses (a self denied) along with the completion of a writing project which I think of as both the end of the pursuit of academic writing– writing about self (auto), life (bio), writing (graphy)– and the beginning of writing for my own life. The resolution of each story line required a combination of sheer will and individual effort as well as many fortuitous events and unimagined blessings.

It is an interesting pairing, one which I hope will move me forward into the New Year and many more wonderful experiences.

• creativity , creative practice , Carriage Driving , Morgan horses , Embree Diaries , Agarita Ranch
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