Archive for April 3rd, 2010

Blue

amywink April 3rd, 2010

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The pastures and roadsides are turning blue after our wet winter. And not just blue, but red, yellow, lavender, purple, white, and green, green, green. Thank you, Lady Bird Johnson, for your grand idea.

The horses are fat on the lush grass they haven’t seen in years and we are not yet driving.

This spring has been crazy-hectic, one-thing-after-another, not-a-minute-to-breath, too-many-trips-to-the-vet kind of season. I am reminding myself continually that something beautiful is being born.

In January, I joined the American Driving Society with big plans to participate in the “Hours to Drive” program.

So far, I have logged a whopping 4 hours in 3 months. Perhaps I’d be better off logging “Hours of Not Driving” but the reward for that is an entirely different hue of blue!

So, to get things in gear, I’ve set April 24 as The Day to get back to driving regularly. This gets us past most of the time commitments of April (most related to Plum Creek CDE, April 17-18).

As far as my own writing, since I created my Desktop Folder for “Horse and Writer” on January 1, 2010, I have done absolutely zip on the book. . . . other than stare at the outline I have tacked to my bulletin board, right beside the Hours to Drive log sheet (and thus making the parallels even more clear, yet again).

Still, the necessary and positive end has come for other things, making way for what may now begin.

March was a month of significant endings.

Tristan, the last of the graduate school dogs, died. It is hard to be without his joyous presence now, but for 17 years, he did the great work of dogs.

I finished my work on the Embree diaries with the donation of the original diaries to the Bell County Museum in Belton, Texas. I was able to meet many descendants of Tennie Embree in what I can only describe as the perfect closure for this project. The original diaries are now safely “home” and the rest of my research materials for Tandem Lives will soon be donated as well. It has been a long, long, long trip with these diaries and I am glad to have completed the journey (1995-2010).

After similarly long time, I paid off my student loan. “Paid in Full” is a beautiful phrase.

Last summer, while I groomed Will in the barn at Haven Hill, a thunderstorm charged the air with bolts of lightening. Standing peacefully with my horse, with his sweet scent of sun-warmed grain and grass, I thought “this is my real life”.

“And, behold, the LORD passed by,
a great and strong wind rent the mountains,
and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD;
but the LORD was not in the wind:
and after the wind an earthquake;
but the LORD was not in the earthquake:
and after the earthquake a fire;
but the LORD was not in the fire: and
after the fire a still small voice.” (KJV, Kings, 11-12)

In the middle of the storm, it was a quiet thought and I have been thinking on it ever since. And I am ready to begin.

May I have the courage today
To live the life I would love
To postpone my dream no longer
But do at last what I came here for
And waste my heart on fear no longer.

John O’Donohue, “A Morning Offering”